I can make cats come to me in the street. Its my party trick. There are two steps. First, you use a trilling miaow which is cat language for 'invitation'. Then you slowly blink your eyes. This means 'I'm relaxed and happy in your presence' Try it now. Doesn't it make you breathe deeper? So, you blink, and they will slow-blink in reply. You do it again, they reply again, then the turn and stride right over to you. So easy! Nobody taught me either, I worked it out myself.
Now you might wonder why this skill is useful. Especially if you don't like cats. The reason is, it works on humans too.
I remember that time back in shared house-telephone days, my German girl housemate has an interminable loud conversation, and kept me awake. I'm rarely angry at my housemates because they are wonderful. But I was. When I told her, she said 'Oh, I'm so sorry, I'll be careful next time.' then, to my amazement she said 'Cecilia, I have to tell you about this guy'. Here eyes where all sparkling, she wanted conection with me. It worked like some kind of emotional Aikido. I couldn't stay angry with her.
I'll never forget it. If you can somehow keep the essential enjoyment of the other person at the forefront, they go all relaxed. They come to you.
For a world that works, connected is always better.
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